The people I find irresistible are those in whom the child was not killed. The qualities of openness, trust, inquisitiveness, tenderness, eagerness, enthusiasm, others undefinable, come from the child in us and are the source of charm. The laughter and the smile that do not calculate, the spontaneity that is not arrested. I cannot remember “adult” charm or whether it even exists.
A conversation once held between colleagues C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien speaks to this innate human desire for being part of larger-than-life stories, quests, and victories .. Tolkien’s point to Lewis was this: the reason we’re repeatedly drawn into these kinds of mythical stories—the reason we want to be part of a “bigger something”—is because God has imprinted these themes on our souls. And though not everyone knows it, the “bigger something” we long to be part of is the “biggest something” of all, the greatest epic the universe will ever know—God reconciling all things to Himself in Christ.
—Creature of the Word, by Matt Chandler, Josh Patterson and Eric Geiger (via light-unshakable)
It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox, full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty, bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said, Do the best you can with these, they will have to do. And mostly, against all odds they’re enough.
Marrying you has exposed all of my problems. Marrying you has taught me how to fight against the loneliness of not being exactly sure who this woman is beneath all the layers I hadn’t even known were folding all around me. I’ve been aching for the sun to move over me so I could bloom. I’ve got petals peeling away left, right, north, south, needing your delicate gaze to see me, to look harder and see even clearer, to watch and to understand. Marrying you has made me more myself than I’ve ever been, and it’s because I keep finding parts of myself that never knew how to raise their hand to ask for the space and the tenderness it needed to stretch out and flourish. I’m unfolding and it is the undressing of a soul moving out from winter into the warmth of summer’s start.
Perhaps it was just poor timing
Even so, I cherished what amount of time we did have
Whether or not it was meant to happen I still feel like it should have been a little longer
I had even hoped that it was going to be forever
But it was enough for me to feel what I never thought I’d feel; reciprocation
An understanding exchanged in all the
“I love you”’s and “I miss you”’s
And in all the smiles and silent moments
So we held onto it with open hands
We pushed open the door to see what was inside but found nothing but a room full old photographs that I thought I had burned a long time ago
Well we burned them together and burned ourselves a bit in the process
And I knew then it was time to leave
So we said our “goodbye”’s and our
“I’ll miss you”’s
And we shut the door quietly behind us and took the new polaroids with us
I promise to keep them safely tucked away in my memory
So darling, I wish you the best and I hope you felt loved enough
I harbor so many regrets but loving you will never be one
